Mistakes happen and boaters make some of the best ones. While these stories are funny, they should also sound a note of caution.
Boaters can do the strangest things. Every year I see and hear about incidents most boaters wouldn't care to share with the rest of us. Many of these occurrences are funny to a neutral bystander, but perhaps not to the person involved with the problem. While we can joke about some of the incidents I will describe, there is also an element of safety we should be consider. A mistake has to happen for these incidents to occur in the first place. Without further delay, let's talk about Stupid Boater Tricks.
Anchors are an important accessory for your boat. An effective anchor will have at least some chain rode and have enough scope to prevent a boat from dragging. Rode is the salty term for the line that connects your anchor to the boat. Scope is the length of the rode. If you ever think about your options during a mechanical breakdown, not having an anchor poses two different scenarios. While waiting for help, your boat can be swept onto a rocky beach or you can head out to sea. A good anchoring system can help prevent this. The all time favorite boater trick for anchor deployment is to forget to attach the anchor to your rode or the rode to your boat. It is a very helpless feeling to watch your anchor sink into 300 feet of water, never to be seen again. Anchors can also be too small, too large or become stuck on the bottom, creating all sorts of aggravation.
Mooring your boat at the marina presents many potential photographic moments. High winds, mechanical problems, or bad planning can cause all sorts of problems. Note that the first time you have a problem with mooring your boat; someone will appear out of nowhere to take your picture.
I have a friend that is a commercial fisherman. Many fishermen love to make dramatic arrivals at the dock, demonstrating their superior skill and seamanship. My friend performed a classic fisherman's arrival. This involves approaching the slip at high rate of speed, keeping the engine speed up and slamming the transmission into reverse to stop the vessel perfectly in its slip. Approaching the dock, my friend was looking good, until the shift lever came off in his hand. His sixty-foot commercial fishing vessel plowed half way through the new dock causing $30,000 USD in damage. The erstwhile skipper now has his slip personalized with a marker that reads Captain Crunch.
One other favorite boater maneuver at dock is to leap off the boat onto dock to facilitate tying the vessel up. Mooring docks are narrow, often slippery and are installed over the water. More than one heroic crewmember has leaped off their vessel only slide off into the water or break an ankle. It is comical to see something like this happen, but there is also a good chance for someone to be hurt.
Launch ramps are a unique source of entertainment to many of us marina observers. Trailers come off of trucks, boats come off of trailers, trucks with attached trailers roll into the water, or an inexperienced driver jackknifes their trailer across the ramp, blocking progress for everyone else. Launch ramps are slick and people hurry more than they should at times. Many boaters have slipped onto their tailbones or into the water. Launch ramp safety is discussed in detail in the article Successfully Launching Your Boat.
Funny things happen on the waterfront. Boaters are people and people make mistakes. Hopefully all of us survive these incidents to learn from our mistakes. If you have a good story send it to me at Boating and Sailing @ Suite101.
